by Jacquelyn Ferguson | December 10, 2020

Ladies, contrary to popular belief, women think about sex just as much as men do. In fact, on average, Americans think about sex eight times a day, with men thinking about sex just a teeny bit more at nine times a day. I mean, it’s not that surprising. We’re sexual creatures—we desire intimacy, connection, and pleasure, but that doesn’t mean we’re always up for it, or that we have time for it. You might be wondering, why is that? If we desire sex so much, why is it that I just can’t be bothered?

Well, let’s talk about your sleep habits. Because here’s the thing, sex and sleep have more in common than just the bedroom. With our go-go-go 24/7 lifestyles, that have become a status symbol for some and a necessary for others, we’ve become too busy for sex, and too busy for sleep. And yet, those two go hand in hand; for when one has sex, one sleeps soundly, and when one sleeps well, they’re down for more sex. But when one doesn’t get enough sleep, one doesn’t feel up to sex, and here’s 7 reasons why:

1. Lack of Sleep Lowers Hormone Levels

When we don’t sleep the recommended hours each night, our hormones are thrown out of whack. In fact, the main sex hormone, it starts with a ‘T’, you know the one, is affected when we don’t get enough sleep. Both men and women need it to get them going in the bedroom; men just happen to need more. As such, when sleep isn’t made a priority, it’s complete chaos for our sex hormone. Basically, a drop in our T-levels is the number one sex drive killer and it’s proven, without a doubt, that your desire for sex diminishes when you don’t sleep.  Even getting one night of bad sleep can gave an immediate negative effect on your sex life.

2. Sleeplessness Destroys Next-Day Sexual Desire

The chances of having sex after a bad night’s sleep are slim to none. But on the opposite end, if you get enough sleep, the odds of having sex is much greater. In fact, according to a study in The Journal of Sexual Medicine, “longer sleep duration was related to greater next-day sexual desire” and “a one hour increase in sleep length corresponded to a 14% increase in the odds of engaging in partnered sexual activity. Essentially, if you’re getting enough sleep, the odds of having sex the next day are a lot higher! But that’s not all. In fact, the more you sleep, the sexier you feel. When you get enough sleep it affects your skin, waistline, and energy levels. All of which contributes to how desirable you feel. 

3. Sleep Deprivation Screws With Your Emotions

Have you ever paid attention to your mood after a terrible night’s sleep? I know I have; not even I want to be around me. If you’re chronically tired from lack of sleep, chances are you won’t feel lovey-dovey and willing to snuggle up with your partner. Basically, when one doesn’t get enough sleep, relationship dynamics move away from appreciation and toward more negative feelings, and couples’ sex lives can take a serious downturn. I mean, being too tired is definitely a turn-off. There’s no denying that. 

Plus, when you lack sleep, your body is on constant high alert and your stress levels increase. In a 2010 study, researchers confirmed that a rise in the stress hormone negatively impacts sex drive. And yet, when people experience sexual arousal their stress hormone decreases in levels. The biggest denominator there? Lack of sleep. Basically, if one wants to de-stress and have more sex, they need to sleep more. 

4. Sleep Deprivation Makes You Too Tired

How often does one use the excuse, “I’m too tired for sex?” It’s used all the time as a plot device in television or film. As noted in Examiner, it’s easy to become “too tired to even care about sex.” And it’s even easier for you and your partner to drift apart if this becomes a habit. I mean, chances are, when you’re coping with chronic sleep deprivation, the only thing you want is more sleep. And if you’re constantly turning down your partner, it’s easy to assume that they’ll get annoyed or hurt by your response. Not to mention that the more it becomes a habit, the easier it will be to drift apart. This means you need to get in a consistent sleep pattern, so that your body isn’t always demanding more sleep. If your body is satisfied by the amount of sleep it’s getting, it can get satisfied in other ways. 

5. Sleep Deprivation Contributes to Depression and Anxiety

Yet, another blow to the sex drive. Technically, the brain is the biggest sex organ, and as such, keeping your mental health in good working order will help ensure a healthy sex life. Sleep is how you do it. This is because sleep deprivation causes psychological distress, and this distress is commonly turned into full-blown depression. In fact, Everyday Health, states that depression can limit or eliminate the pleasure normally drawn from sex. So make sure you get those zzz’s in as much as possible.

6. Sleep Deprivation Affects the Immune System

When we don’t get enough sleep, our immune system is weakened, leaving us open and prone to catching the latest bug. Few things can kill the mood faster than a nasty head cold and no one wants to cuddle up with a partner who’s sick. Basically, a healthy sexlife means being healthy overall and to do that one needs to sleep. 

7. Sleep Deprivation Results in Less Sex Overall

There’s no denying that if your sex deprivation goes on for several days, then you may have less sex overall. As a matter of fact, a 2008 poll from the National Sleep Foundation found that 20% of people said they have sex less often or have lost interest in sex because they’re too sleepy. But being too tired isn’t the worst of it. No, not at all. Our bodies may lose the ability to even perform due to lack of sleep. Yes, you heard that right—unable to perform. 

For men, research has shown a direct correlation between erectile dysfunction and sleep deprivation. But women are affected too. Vaginal lubrication is a crucial element for a pain-free and pleasurable sexual experience for women. And you guessed it. When women slept well and longer, they had better genital arousal, compared to those women who were skimping on sleep. 

Get Better Sleep

All said and done, one thing is obvious. It’s important to get the recommended hours of sleep each night to keep your sex drive healthy and your relationships going. 

Better health starts with better sleep

Don’t know where to start your healthier night’s sleep journey? 

Try a weighted blanket. They’ve been proven to improve sleep. 

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